"Walk on by..." Bacharach + David

Um, yeah...I would if I could.

OK so now we're in Chunk three. the final in this arduous journey.
It's all chemo all the time. Well, twice a day anyway. I do it for 2 weeks than I am off for a week. That compromises one round.

So now? I am almost done with my second round. Luckily I'll have the week of Thanksgiving off from taking meds. and on Sunday I take the last pills in round two.
So yeah, 2 down.............7 to go.

*sigh*

Let's talk side effects shall we? So beyond the extreme fatigue (de riguer by now, like some annoying person who bores me but refuses to go home) and the stomach searing "I just got the inside of my stomach scratched by glass and someone is pouring acid in it" pain that shows up after I eat and sticks around for 5-6 hours...I now have a new visitor.

Hand and Foot syndrome, yeah walk on by you miserable little fuck...
And I can't walk away from it because now ladies and gentleman, I can't walk.
It did get better last time when I was on my med free week, I can only hope it will this time too.

Thanks to the chemo the bottom of my feet are basically nothing but one huge painful blister...when I called the Dr. to check on this and see if there was something I needed to know or do, I was advised the following:

"Well if it hurts, stop walking..."
(Um, areyouseriousyougottobekiddingme...?)
I have to go to the bathroom like 10 times a day not to mention I can't take my chemo without eating, and I can't eat without going to the grocery store..(at this point I started to scream a little in my head...)

"It was just starting last round, and it's so bad this time, does this mean it could get worse than this?"
"Oh yes"
"So what do I do if it does?"
"Oh don't worry, we'll just get you a wheelchair and if we need to one of those little portable commodes to put next to the bed"

And she wasn't kidding.


OK, that's it I've had it.
I want to walk away from all of this...ALL OF IT.

But I can't.

If you need me I'll be huddled under my covers in wretched existence mode...
Oh and yeah if I don't talk to you in the mean time?
Happy Thanksgiving.

It will be a bit of a stretch for me this year....