On the good foot...once again.

Last April 1st...I started this journey.
I was scared, bewildered, nervous, but promised myself 2 things, I would find the good somewhere in all of this and I would start "on the good foot".

I did.
Now tomorrow I take the last and final step in this long journey.

Tomorrow I have "take down" surgery, which is just a fancy-schmancy way of saying ileostomy reversal. I can hardly wait. Living life with a colostomy bag has been unbelievable, unbelievably YUCK.
There was not a moment that I wasn't aware that I had it. It made me self conscious, unable to take regular showers (so not to loosen the seal)and hurt...bad. I have lived in black leggings since last August when I had surgery. I couldn't wear jeans or a lot of my clothes. It was always there, always present and in the back of my mind 24/7.

I've had to completely change my diet for fear of getting a blockage (which = immediate emergency room surgery) and have not had a fresh vegetable or fruit since I got the bag.
I want to dive right into a caesar salad and rub it all over my body at this point. Although the up-side is I could have all the eggs, meat, pasta and rice that I wanted with no weight gain. Going so far as to one day having made the ultra rich and fattening Hollandaise sauce made from 3 egg yolks and a stick of butter, and ate the entire thing...and didn't gain an ounce. Yeah, won't be able to do it again...but nice to get to do it at least once.

I lost 30-35 pounds. I'll take that side effect!!
And am determined to keep my weight down, eat healthier, be more active and keep every single follow up appointment.

I am going to live better.
And am I still scared and nervous?
Yes.
But will finish my journey, along with my incredible friends and Team Fuck Off (whom I could not have done any of this without..) on the good foot.

I'll check back in, in a few days to let you know how things are going.
In the meantime,
I love you all.