"Half a World Away..." - REM

As of tomorrow I am halfway through my chemo...
So huge fucking YAY!!

The 10% reduction in my chemo made a big difference and I am not feeling as bad as I was so here's to the positive! I at least made it to one Christmas social celebration, but was very sad to have to sit home on New Year's Eve (I don't think I have ever done that before, come to think of it, unless I was throwing a party) But KP made it bearable with some delicious sushi from Miyako, we made some Bellini's which were insanely yummy (and yes I checked to see if I could have alcohol on my chemo, they said yes...) and laughed our way through Caddy Shack...the gopher gets me every time.

Ive also learned to plan better (groceries, when I can be up and down, when I need to stay in bed) to make the hand/foot syndrome more bearable. I am still going through pints of "Udder Budder" like it's water...but I've been telling myself it's a "spa treatment".
Although truth be told, all of my skin has come off of my hands and feet like 4 times already...ick. I'm hoping "exposed bone" isn't next.

You all know the kind of year I have had, since this has been going on since early April. So you can imagine I was not sorry to see 2010 go by the wayside.

I have been a bit down as of late...in this seemingly never ending journey. But am happy to report that I woke up on January first feeling REALLY good. (a miracle in itself considering the amount of Bellini's I consumed) not only did I feel good physically (well relatively all things considered...)I felt good mentally...like wow, the sun just came out good! in fact the best and most positive I have felt in along time.

I have a good feeling about this year...however since I'm half done, I still have a bit of road ahead of me, REM says it better than I ever could:

"This could be the saddest dusk
I’ve ever seen
Turn to a miracle
High alive
My mind is racing
As it always will
My hand is tired my heart aches
I’m half a world away here
My head sworn
To go it alone
And hold it along
Haul it along
And hold it
Go it alone
Hold it along and hold, hold.

This lonely deep sit hollow
I’m half a world
Half the world away
My shoes are gone
My life spent
I had too much to drink
I didn’t think
And I I didn’t think of you
I guess that’s all I needed
To go it alone
And hold it along
Haul it along
And hold it
Blackbirds backwards forwards and fall and hold hold.

Oh this lonely world is wasted
Pathetic eyes high alive
blind to the tide that turns the sea
This storm it came up strong
It shook the trees
And blew away our fear
I couldn’t even hear

To go it alone
And hold it along
Haul it along
And hold it
To go it alone
And hold it along
Haul it along
To go it alone
And hold it along
Haul it along
And hold it
Blackbirds backwards forwards and fall and hold hold.

This could be the saddest dusk
I’ve ever seen
Turn to a miracle
high alive
My mind is racing
As it always will
My hands tired my heart aches
I’m half a world away and go "

Here's hoping your own New Year is happy, healthy and positive in all aspects...
As for me, I am still rocking it! And hope you are too.