Truth...and Dare

One of those weeks where cancer was the least of my worries...

Emma's dad went missing for two weeks and it took it's toll. He's been found.So there's a relief there, but it took out about everything I had in the process.

When you have cancer, you just get depleted, in vitamins, minerals, weight, brain power, energy, patience, money, happiness...well really just about everything but the support and love from your friends.

And sometimes that comes in seemingly strange packages.
Even though today should have been a stellar day (Anne in town, nice day outside, hand and feet better than last time at this juncture) I couldn't sleep for the last couple of days and it took EVERYTHING I had to drag myself out of bed this morning (well, OK this afternoon) to eat with Anne, Emma and Kevin.

As I made a half hearted attempt to brush my hair, looking in the mirror I did not recognize myself. "Oh my god, I look like shit" And the truth was I did. And Anne bless her heart and the most fabulous friend I have, looked me straight in the eye and said " yeah, you do look really, really tired" And that my friends is true love. She didn't sugarcoat, she didn't try to bullshit me, she just called it like it was. Which let me know I was right and I needed to do something about it.

I feel so bad and weird all the time, sometimes my friends can kind of trick me into thinking it's not as bad as it is and it's "fabulous as usual". And sometimes that's a good thing. Today it wasn't and Anne knew it.

So after eating lunch and hugging my beautiful friend good-by, I went back to bed, because what I needed most was sleep...and lot's of it.

Daring to tell the truth. Today, a good thing.