So after yesterday I was EXHAUSTED.
I had to fight the fight with Dr. Bitchslap...then go back to the hospital to spend another two hours get my new "boost" markings...or as I explained to someone, "Yay! Now my butt looks like a Deer target instead of a Bear Target!!".
The only saving graces were getting to spend some time with my work team at lunch (Team FO P&G Axillary!!)...and my friend Jen-Jen came over to distract me, so we dished and watched Mama-Mia...all the while still dealing with "Baby's on Fire" syndrome.
So I went without a nap, planning on going to bed early because face it I'm freaking exhausted. So I ate a little early, took my meds...soothed my body and mind down and was just heading up the stairs and as I went to go up the stairs I glanced into the kitchen and there were two raccoons...ok on up to be...WTF?? What were two raccoons doing in my house????
I looked at them..they looked at me...at least they weren't growling at me (actually they looked a little shy and freaked out)...but then that scene from that movie, you know the one, where the raccoon inevitably jumps on someones face and they dance around in a circle and scream while the raccoon eats the guys face off????...yep that's what I was thinking.
And of course my phone was in the kitchen!!, so I yelled up to Emma "Emergency, bring your phone" and she called Kevin while I tried to think of a way to herd and protect the 3 cats and simultaneously open the (locked I may add...) door and shoo the racoons out...my dining room and kitchen are open to each other through 2 doors (kinda like a circle..) so as I was herding cats I looked back into the kitchen (whilst holding the stout walking stick I keep for intruders) and they were gone!... or so I thought...I was busy trying to get the cats upstairs (as RABIES!!, CLAWING!!, FUR CARNAGE!! ran around in my head)and then I hear Emma screaming from the kitchen...poor little fella (only 1? omg where's the other one?? Did he go out the door??)was trapped by the refrigerator (and the CATFOOD) looking scared as can be...why I tried to make kissy noises and say "come on little fella I won't hurt you" trying to lure him to the door...
He then proceeded to turn around, eat the catfood and wash his hands noisely, happily in the cats water dishes...what a MESS!!!
Then he started for the dining room...and Jasper..and I was able to cut him off and then he disappeared down the basement steps...
Meanwhile Kevin is on his way and when he gets there we proceed to go over every inch of the house...there is no obvious way that they could have gotten in...he rechecks the basement for me...raccoon vanished.
We then spend til 2 AM trying to disinfect everything...bringing the catbox upstairs, just in case, barring the basement door.
Today I am double exhausted... :-(
You've always known raccoons are bandits...so now you know they are also "Time Bandits". Hmpff. Stop eating my catfood.
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