The one that nobody talks about...

When I first understood that rectal cancer had invaded my body, honest-to-god my first reaction was "Who the hell gets Butt cancer???" Who knows?? Because it's the one nobody talks about...they talk about "Colorectal cancer" but rectal cancer kind of gets lumped in there (no pun intended) and let's face it...it's not very glamorous. I know of no big walks scheduled for Butt cancer...no telethons...no shiny pink ribbons for this cancer...

Yep you guessed it the ribbon color for my cancer is brown...shit brown.
Not even "Auburn" or "Burnt Sienna" or "Chocolate brown" but shit brown...accurate no doubt but depressing to my core. Seriously have you seen one person with a brown ribbon on? I have always hated earth tones.

Yep nobody talks about butt cancer...because it's not polite to talk about butts (unless it's in a "boo-tay" kind of way) In fact if we do talk about it you can bet it has an unpleasant side to it...we say someone is "An asshole" or a "Butt-head" or an "ass-wipe" or an "Ass kisser"...yep nothing pleasant there.

But(t), because we don't talk about it people don't know what the signs are that there is a problem and that's a problem in itself...because people don't talk about it they are scared of colonoscopies (seriously something that is no big deal whatsoever)and they are afraid to mention to the DR. that they have "a little problem down there". Had I felt freer to talk about it, or in actuality been more insistent that my Dr and I talk about it more than we did ("it's just a hemmoroid, nothing to worry about!") I might very well not be in the position I'm in now (i.e. soon to be face down with my butt exposed for all to see, with bullseye markings on it getting zapped by a machine that has links to Hiroshima and Nagasaki)

"But" you say..."I don't want to talk about butts and poop and things..."
Do you have any idea how amazing your rectum is? Really??

OK now imagine for a moment you don't have one...and instead of your wonderful rectum beautifully and dutifully delivering solid waste from your body that would not do well to have that stuff lingering inside, pretty easily with very little complication to be quickly flushed from your sight with a flick of your wrist...Instead of that you have an ugly thing protruding from your body that you have to attach a plastic bag to, you have to carry around, and empty and worry about leakage and how the hell am I going to have sex with a shit bag between us...and "Oh my god what if I smell??"

So, let's talk about butts...and if there's a problem and scheduling a colonoscopy if you need one (because everyone should have one when they turn 50)

Let's talk about butts that way...instead of having to talk about butt cancer and colostomies and god forbid... earth tone shit brown ribbons.